


Outstanding Bankikki! - Grassroots Youkai Network

by Elephantasmagoria



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Childbirth, Comedy, Gen, Grassroots Youkai Network, Kusanone, Teamwork, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24589447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elephantasmagoria/pseuds/Elephantasmagoria
Summary: When an unexpected expecting mother comes to the Grassroots Youkai Network for help, it's up to Sekibanki to figure something out, and fast.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	Outstanding Bankikki! - Grassroots Youkai Network

The day had started off fairly normally. The Grassroots Youkai Network’s executives (They’d decided that it would be better to refer to themselves as the executives of the group, to prevent potential new members from coming away with the impression that they were the entirety of the GYN) had convened for their weekly meeting at the Misty Lake’s edge. They were discussing a new potential member that Kagerou had met during the last full moon, when they were interrupted by a loud clacking noise. They whirled around to face the intruder, and were surprised to find nothing but a pair of geta.

“Hello?” came a voice from the vague direction of the geta. It was female, quiet, and slightly strained. “This is the Grassroots Youkai Network, right?”

“The executives of the Grassroots Youkai Network, yeah.” Kagerou replied, straightening up and adjusting the neck of her dress.

“Ah!” The voice replied. The pair of geta, as if on their own, shuffled over towards Sekibanki, stopping just shy of her. Sekibanki took an instinctive half-step backwards. “And you must be the dullahan!” Sekibanki felt a pair of smooth, invisible hands clasp around hers. She made it a full step backwards. “I-I need your help.”

“What’s wrong?” Sekibanki replied. As usual, her voice was muffled slightly by the cowl of her cape. 

“Well, I’m pregnant, and I think I can feel the baby coming.” The voice replied.

“Er, how can you be...?” Kagerou interjected, taking a couple of steps closer as she looked down at the geta. “Aren’t you a pair of shoes?”

“I’m a betobeto-san, actually.” The betobeto-san replied. “Ah, I forgot, my name’s Tomoyo. Oh, and, the, uh, usual way, I suppose.” She added meekly. Sekibanki felt one of the hands let go of hers, while the other guided her hand down until she was pressing against smooth, warm, firm skin. The hand guided hers over the curvature of what Sekibanki was coming to realize was the belly of a very pregnant betobeto-san. She thought she felt a kick against her palm, and instinctively recoiled. The point made, Tomoyo let go of Sekibanki’s hand.

“Huh.” Came Sekibanki’s muffled reply. She brushed her hand on her cape, and held up three fingers, as she counted off: “First off, I’m not a dullahan, I’m a rokurokubi. Second, I think you have some serious misconceptions. Third...” Sekibanki trailed off as she tried to think how to more delicately turn down the youkai. The services of the Grassroots Youkai Network were never really well-defined, but this situation was definitely outside those.

“I don’t think that’s true, Bankikki.” Wakisagihime chimed in helpfully, sitting on her lakeside rock. “It sounds like she has conceived.” 

“That’s not...” Sekibanki replied, turning towards Wakasagihime.

“Ah, excuse me!” Tomoyo interrupted. “I-I think my water just broke.” 

“Ah.” All three of the Grassroots Youkai Network executives responded in unison.

The three executives looked amongst each other, and as usual it boiled down to both Wakasagihime and Kagerou looking towards Sekibanki. She drew her shoulders back and inhaled. “Okay. Tomoyo, do you think you can walk or fly anywhere?”

“N… No.” Came the reply.

“Alright.” Sekibanki swallowed, mind racing. “Kagerou, you’re fastest. I need you to run to Eientei and get help. Eirin will know what to do. She has to.” 

Kagerou perked up. “Alright!” She said, as she limbered up, stretching and shaking, like a dog’s tail wagging with excitement. “I know the way already.”

“Here.” Sekibanki said, pulling off her head and tossing it over to Kagerou. Kagerou caught it without missing a beat, and another appeared in its place on Sekibanki’s shoulders. “If things get worse and I need help, I’ll talk to Eirin with this head.” She paused for a moment, recalling a painful memory with a wince. “ _Please_ don’t drop it this time.”

Kagerou cradled the head in her right arm, and looked down at it, giving it a little salute. Both of Sekibanki’s heads responded with impatient sighs. She tucked the head close to her chest, holding it like a football, and began running off down the trail. 

Sekibanki and Wakasagihime watched as Kagerou disappeared into the trees. Tomoyo let out a groan, and both Sekibanki and Wakasagihime turned their attention back to her. “I’ve…” Tomoyo started “...been having contractions for a while. You might have to help… ooh.”

“Ah, well, if it comes to that, I’ve actually helped others give birth before, myself.” Wakasagihime said, puffing her chest out proudly.

“You have?” Sekibanki asked, her tone somewhere between surprise and skepticism.

“I have. It’s just never come up before.” Wakasagihime replied, smiling. “It’s quite easy! You simply deposit your eggs on the lake bed, and then the male comes over and fertilizes them by eja-”

“Hime! Hime.” Sekibanki cut her friend off before she could continue her explanation. “Mammals.”

Wakasagihime let out a startled “Eh?!” and flushed a bright red. She covered her chest and looked downwards.

“No, not-” Sekibanki gave out an exasperated sigh. “Mammals. Live birth. Remember?” 

“Ah, right, right!” Wakisagihime replied, tugging the top of her kimono upwards for good measure. “I still think that I can help.” She clasped her hands together and gave an excited smile. “I’ve been reading some of the magazines that ended up on the lakebed. Have you considered a water birth?”

“... As in, giving birth underwater?” Tomoyo replied cautiously.

“Yes! It’s quite popular in the outside world!” Wakisagihime continued cheerfully. “The magazine listed a lot of potential health benefits to giving birth in a pool of warm water.”

“That’s a terrible idea.” Sekibanki sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know babies can’t breathe underwater, right? Not to mention we don’t have any warm water.”

“I think the Misty Lake’s quite warm this time of year.” Wakisagihime sniffed.

“Hime, you’re a fish.”

“Ah, I see your point.”

Sekibanki turned to look in the direction of Tomoyo, if only for her benefit. The only reply was a nervous clacking from her geta.

“We’ll try to help as best as we can.” Sekibanki said to her, in the most reassuring tone she could manage. She reached up to her neck, and undid the three ties for her cloak. With a small flourish, she cast it aside, laying it on the ground close to the lakeside. “It’s better than the bare ground, right? Lie down and we’ll try and keep you comfortable.” No longer muffled by the collar, her voice was clear and commanding. Her smile was confident and reassuring. With the sheer charisma of this action, all doubt in Wakasagihime and Tomoyo’s minds was cast aside along with the cape.

“T-thank you.” Tomoyo replied. Her geta clacked as she slowly trundled over to the cape. Sekibanki offered her a hand to help her lie down, and Tomoyo took it. She sat down on the cape, and slowly reclined on the ground. An impression of her back took form in the cape’s fabric and flattened grass underneath. Sekibanki washed her hands in the lake – better than nothing, hopefully – and took position, kneeling between Tomoyo’s spread geta. Wakasagihime beached herself on the ground, and flopped over towards where Tomoyo’s head was.

Sekibanki looked down at the expectant mother, or, at least tried to. Her eyes wanted to focus closer than the ground before her, but with nothing to see she just ended up feeling slightly dizzy. Or, perhaps, more dizzy than the situation already had her feeling. The faraway sensations of her head being mashed into the side of a werewolf who was running full-tilt through a forest didn’t help matters. She wiped her brow with the back of her arm, and looked to where Tomoyo’s head... hopefully was.

“Okay. I can’t see what I’m doing, so I’ll have to do this by feel. I’ll try not to touch anything I don’t have to, but...”

“I... I understand.” Tomoyo said between breaths.

“Are you, uh, wearing anything that I’ll have to get out of the way?”

“...Will my geta...?”

“...That shouldn’t be a problem.” Sekibanki replied, closing her eyes. “...I hope.” murmured her other head into Kagerou’s side, though it came out sounding more like “Mirmrrph”.

After a moment of fumbling to find it, Wakasagihime took Tomoyo’s hand, and looked towards her. “Kagerou and I both trust Bankikki. She’ll do her best.” She said in a calm tone, gently squeezing Tomoyo’s hand between both of hers.

“... Thanks, Hime.” Sekibanki replied, opening her eyes again. “...Yes, thanks...” Tomoyo added.

“Don’t thank us yet. The doctors will probably be here before anything happens. Just lie down and relax.” Sekibanki said.

“Ah, have you decided on a name yet?” Asked Wakasagihime. “W-well... If they’re a boy, I was thinking Tobe...” Tomoyo began. Wakasagihime beamed. She would have been happy enough to just lighten the mood, but this kind of conversation was what she lived for. Sekibanki was just happy to have a moment to collect herself without everyone looking to her for guidance.

* * *

“...So that’s...” Kagerou said between shallow breaths, slamming her hand down on the reception desk “...why I’m here!”

The rabbit receptionist looked at the woman in front of her, blinking slowly. Kagerou was panting and sweating, and looked like she was on the verge of passing out. She was wide-eyed and excited, and bore an off putting smile from the runner’s high she was experiencing. Her dress was tattered, and she was holding what looked like a severed head. And her nails – no, claws – were digging into the desk. 

A lesser rabbit might have frozen or collapsed upon seeing such a scene, but the receptionist’s years of training and experience shone through. “I’ll get the master.” The receptionist replied. She stood up, turned away, and disappeared behind a sliding door.

“Mmphgemmph.” Sekibanki’s head mumbled into Kagerou’s abdomen. “Mthmemtktmerin.” Kagerou felt the head try to pull away from her grip, and let go. Sekibanki’s head floated up to head height. She let out a little “peh” as she tried to dislodge the sweat from her lip.

“You just got here?” Sekibanki asked, turning her head to glance around the waiting room.

“Hah... Yep!” Kagerou said, still trembling with exertion.

“That’s good, things are... moving on our end, how soon -” Sekibanki was interrupted by the sliding door opening once again. Eirin emerged, with another doctor and a couple of rabbit nurses in tow, carrying a stretcher that seemed to be made out of bamboo.

“You’re the patients, right?” Eirin asked in the authoritative tone of someone who already knew the answer and didn’t need a reply. She gestured to the doctor behind her. “This is Doctor Obata. She’s a tsukumogami, and a youkai gynecological specialist.” Dr. Obata stepped forward, and gave a quick bow. The ornate Obi wrapped around her doctor’s uniform made it obvious what sort of tsukumogami she was. 

“How soon can you get here? I think she’s about to give birth.” Sekibanki asked, the urgency of the situation apparent in her voice.

“How long was it between her last contractions?” Dr. Obata asked.

“No, you’re doing fine, just breathe. Hime, tell her to breathe.” Sekibanki replied.

“Excuse me?”

“That wasn’t meant for you. I’m under a lot of stress and I can’t keep my heads straight.” 

“Alright. Well, try to keep calm. Take a deep breath yourself, I can walk you through this.” Dr. Obata replied. She took hold of Sekibanki’s head and looked over at Kagerou. “You, can you lead us back to the site?” 

“Hah, yeah.” Kagerou straightened back up, and stretched again. “I’m just getting warmed up.” 

“There’s no time to waste. Lead the way, we’ll fly there.” Dr. Obata looked down at Sekibanki’s head as she followed Kagerou out the door, the nurses following shortly behind her. “How long was it since her last contractions? Can you see a head or any part of the baby?” 

“...She’s a betobeto-san. I can’t see anything.” Sekibanki replied. “And... I don’t know? She says she can feel it coming out.” 

“Hm, right. You need to wash your hands if you haven’t already.” The doctor said as she pushed off the ground, taking flight behind Kagerou. “Try not to touch the birth canal – anything ‘inside’, essentially. Be ready to support the baby, but do not push or pull it. Tell the mother to...”

* * *

By the time Kagerou, Dr. Obata, and the rabbits arrived, it was already over. Lying there on the grass and a completely soiled cape, was a proud mother and her newborn daughter. Of course, the only thing that could be seen was one pair of normal-sized geta on the ground, and another pair of tiny, child-sized geta apparently floating in mid-air. The child had been born wearing them, and everyone agreed it was better not to ask questions. A black shirt was draped over them as a makeshift blanket. Flopped on the ground alongside the new mother was Wakasagihime, who was cooing over the baby, or at least the baby’s “adorable tiny geta.” A short ways away, Sekibanki was sitting shirtless on a rock, her head in her lap.

The doctor handed Sekibanki’s head over to Kagerou, and immediately brought the nurses over to begin observing the patient. Wakasagihime flopped back into the Misty Lake, and she and Kagerou made their way over to Sekibanki. Wakasagihime pulled herself onto a rock touching the lake, and Kagerou sat down beside Sekibanki. She reached over and placed Sekibanki’s head o her shoulders. 

Sekibanki blinked, jolting upright and awake. “Gah!” She nearly dropped the head in her lap, but thankfully grabbed it before it fell. She put the head in her lap back onto her neck. Despite the fact that she already had a head there, the two somehow both managed to fit into one place. It was best not to dwell on it for too long.

“So what’d I miss?” Kagerou asked, leaning back on the rock. She was covered in sweat from her run, and tugged on her collar to get some air circulating in her dress. Sekibanki shifted slightly away from her to put some distance between her nose and the smell.

“It was beautiful!” Wakasagihime said, clasping her hands and leaning over towards the others. Her eyes shone, and she had a great big smile. “So wonderful to see a new life come into the world, especially for youkai. And the way Sekibanki handled everything was amazing! She was so determined! She didn’t even flinch!”

Sekibanki leaned back on her arms, her eyes still closed. “I felt sick to my stomach.” She groaned. “I still do.”

Kagerou looked over at the doctor and nurses. They had finished inspecting Tomoyo, and loaded her onto the stretcher. Kagerou leaned back on one arm and fanned herself with the other. “Hey, if Waka says it, it has to be true.”

“Thank you, Kage!” Wakasagihime beamed. “If you say it, it has to be right, too!” Sekibanki kept her eyes closed. If she was bothered by her fellow executives blatantly flirting in front of her, she was too tired to do anything about it. One of her heads floated over, a replacement shirt in its mouth. Sekibanki lazily took it from the head, and slipped it on. She allowed her head to rest in her lap, and sat up slightly as she started doing the buttons.

“No, really, Bankikki. You did a great job.” Kagerou said, placing a hand on Sekibanki’s shoulder. Sekibanki was too tired to flinch. “Sending a head with me was a really good idea, and you made sure you got the help we needed.”

“You were really using your head!” Wakasagihime chimed in. Kagerou let out an audible snort. Sekibanki flipped up the collar of her shirt to hide her neck.

“Bankikki, we like having you around because we like having you around, not just because you can do things like this. But your planning skills are amazing, too.” Kagerou said. “...if that makes sense.”

“... Yeah.” Sekibanki replied. A weak smile crept across her face. “It does. It wouldn’t have worked if it weren’t for both of you. I couldn’t have gotten help that quickly, or kept things so calm.”

“I kept her _distracted_. _You_ kept her calm, Bankikki.” Wakasagihime said. Sekibanki just nodded in response. She didn’t have the energy left to argue.

In the distance, the rabbits lifted the stretcher, and began marching down the path back to Eientei. The doctor walked up to the three on the rocks, stopping in front of Sekibanki. “Miss... Bankikki, right?”

“Sekibanki, please.”

“Understood. I wanted to congratulate you for how you handled everything. Not the most sanitary conditions, but that couldn’t be helped, and youkai are less susceptible to that sort of thing. Otherwise, you did an excellent job.”

“Yeah?”

“Indeed. As for the shirt and cape...”

“You can get rid of them.” Sekibanki replied flatly. “I don’t think they’ll ever be clean again.”

“Yes, we were going to dispose of them as medical waste. The patient wanted me to pass on her regards, as well.” The doctor glanced over her shoulder at the stretcher. “I have to accompany the patient to Eientei. Take care.” She gave a quick bow, before starting off behind the rabbits.

All three sat in silence for a bit before Kagerou spoke up, putting her hand on Sekibanki’s shoulder again. “You know what? Tomoyo was right all along. You’re a real Doula-han.”

**Author's Note:**

> Acknowledgements to Ny for suggestion of a betobeto-san (which made the whole thing funnier, at least in my opinion) and to Ny and RT both for the suggestion of the Obi/GYN character. Additional thanks to Nimrod and DarkAAC for alpha reading.
> 
> Any inaccuracies in the birthing process are either artistic license or the result of human (mis)beliefs about pregnancy affecting youkai reproduction.


End file.
